The Haunted Circus
by Rain-chan
Summary: What happens when someone kidnaps the characters of Kingdom Hearts with a Dr. Pepper truck and takes them to a circus? Randomness, that's what!
1. Onward, Dr Pepper!

**KingdomRaindropsSays: Ahahahaha! That walrus is hilarious!**

**Rain: Okay, in this story, I...**

**Riku: Congratulations? For what?**

**Rain: Riku, what are you DOING?**

**Rain: Reading the mail.**

**Rain: That's MY mail! Hey...is my magazine in there?**

**Riku: You mean the Nintendo one? Yeah, it's...**

**Rain: GIMME! (flies at Riku, grabbing the magazine and knocking him over)**

**Riku: I guess this means she's...**

**Rain: Oh! I forgot! This is another story! Read it like I'm reading my magazine!**

**Riku: What am I supposed to read?**

**Rain: Uh, the newspaper, the weather forecast, the TV guide...I don't care. Just LEAVE ME ALONE! Oh, wait, do me a favor and read the Disclaimer.**

**Riku: 'She doesn't own Kingdom Hearts, Nintendo, Dr. Pepper, a semi, a driver's license, Green Day, or a monkey named George.' Wait, what monkey?**

**Rain: The one I put in your underwear drawer.**

* * *

Sora, Riku, and Kairi were sitting in the middle of the street.

"Why exactly are we sitting in the middle of the street?" Kairi asked.

"Well, duh. It's where we are at the beginning of the story!" Sora replied, as if it were the most reasonable explanation in the world.

"Yeah, well, we'd better get up, because a semi's coming." Riku looked behind him to where a huge Dr. Pepper truck was barreling down the road.

Just when the truck was about to hit them, however, it stopped and peeled out, making one of those screeching noises.

The three kids cringed. That noise is really, really, really terrible, believe me.

Rainjumped out. "Hey, people! I've always wanted to do that!"

"What are YOU doing here?" asked Riku, dumbfounded. "I thought this was supposed to be an actual story."

"Oh, it is, it is. I just thought I'd have some fun. After all, this story has to get started somehow."

"You mean by almost running us over with a semi!" Riku jumped up and grabbedRain by the shirt.

"Ooh, I wouldn't do that if I were you. I could have actually run you over with that truck, you know."Rain just stood there looking at Riku, who suddenly let go.

"Besides, you're not even old enough to drive." He started looking anxiously around, as if expecting something to drop from the sky.

"Relax, nothing's going to happen. YET."

Sora stood up and tugged on Rain's sleeve. "Why is your name Rain? And how does Riku know you?"

"My name is Rain because I said it is! And Riku is currently the only person allowed in my house, because I know his one true weakness, and he makes a good maid."Rain pulled out some pictures of Riku wearing a maid's costume. "I'll let you keep them for 5 bucks."

"Deal!" Sora snatched up the photos and handed Panda the money. "Look, Kairi! The resolution is flawless!"

Kairi gazed at the pictures. "Wow, Riku really DOES look like a girl!"

"Stop it! I do not!" Riku pulled out a flamethrower.

"Ah ah ah! That is MY trademark, pretty boy. Get your own! Or do I have to pull out the you-know-whats?"Rain taunted as Riku's eyes grew wide.

"No! No! Anything but that!"

"How did you get the pictures to come out this good?" Kairi turned from looking at the Riku pictures.

"I used the digital camera from my Photography class. I turned the pictures in for an assignment and got an A. And I made 500 dollars selling these things around campus. You wouldn't believe how many people liked them!"Rain turned and poked Riku on the arm. "He's a money pot! Anyway, we have to get going."

"Where? Sora pulled himself away from the humiliating pictures of Riku, his greatest blackmail tool yet, to ask Rain a very obvious question.

"To the place you're supposed to be in the next chapter, duh!"Rain grabbed Riku and shoved him in the back of the semi. After him followed Kairi and Sora.

"Rain, I don't think putting Sora in the same...truck...as caffeine is a very good idea..." Kairi was eying the mass of cans warily. "Especially not when I have to be stuck in here with him."

"Hey, he can't ride up front with me. I have strict rules about who rides up front."

"And what rules are those?" Riku grumbled.

"That absolutely no one rides up front! Now, it's time to get going!"Rain stepped on the gas, and the truck accelerated until they were driving ninety-to-nothing.

"Where are the cops on this stupid highway?" Riku screamed, trying to keep himself from being flattened by the hundreds of Dr. Pepper cans.

ButRain was way to busy singing a homemade song. Sora joined in, surrounded by empty cans.

_Rain: Man, oh, man, this truck's speedin'_

_Sora: All the little people on the street are bleedin'_

_Rain: Riku's in a fuss and Kairi's freaked out_

_Sora: He doesn't like our singing and he's starting to pout_

_Rain: Oh, oh, oh, this song's just beginnin'_

_Sora: The rain is coming down and the Mariners aren't winnin'_

_Rain: Sora drank caffeine and now he's sugar-high_

_Sora: We're goin' to a place and Riku's startin' to cry_

_Rain: Oh, oh, ah, ah, yeeahhhh, some lose and some win_

_Sora: But all we can say is that it's time to begin _

_Rain: With 15 million dollars and a pile of rocks_

_Sora: I put a bucket of bleach in with Riku's purple socks_

_Rain: Ohhhhhhhh, poor little Timmy with the neck brace on_

_Sora: Riku hugs his blanket and still watches Pokemon_

_Rain: The song is almost over but there's more to come_

_Sora: Don't cry, don't cry, don't you cry_

_Rain: There's not a dry eye on the dock_

_Sora: But that's what's gonna happen when we start to rock!_

Riku was trying not to throw up and Kairi was trying to stop Sora from opening the back of the semi.

"Sora! What are you doing?" Kairi continued to tug on Sora's shirt as he heaved on the door.

"I think we're in for a long ride! Time for more songs!"Rain dodged another motorcycle and put in a CD.

"Finally! Something real and worth listening to!" Riku sat down and wiped his forehead. "What's the album?"

"It's Green Bay."Rain pressed the play button while not looking at the road.

"Don't you mean Green Day?" Riku asked. "What's the song?"

"Street of Broken Dreams."

"Don't you mean Boulevard of Broken Dreams?"

"I mean what I mean, Riku. Do not question me, especially when this song is playing. It's the best."

The song started to play.

_Sora: I walk a funny road _

_The fifteenth one that I have known _

_I know where it goes _

_It goes to my home and so _

_I walk this street _

_On the Street of Broken Dreams _

_Where the clown town sleeps and I'm not the only one and _

_I walk to home _

_I walk bologna _

_I walk bologna _

_I walk bologna _

_I walk bo.  
_

_My friend mime's the only one that walks behind me _

_My rainbow wig the only thing that's frizzy _

_Sometimes I wish someone out there will bake me cookies _

_Until then I talk on the phone _

_Ooh-ooh, Ooh-ooh, Ooh-ooh, Ooooh-oh,  
Ooh-ooh, Ooh-ooh, Ooh-ooh _

_I'm walking with a lime _

_That puts pain somewhere in my mind _

_Just suckin' on the lime _

_Off the edge of a cliff I go _

_Look between the limes _

_My mime's not alright _

_Check his mental signs _

_To know that he needs help _

_I walk abalone _

_I walk abalone _

_I walk abalone _

_I walk.  
_

_My pet pig Fred walks above me _

_My oven is already heating _

_Sometimes I wish someone will feed me _

_Until then I walk to Croissant _

_Ooh-ooh, Ooh-ooh, Ooh-ooh, _

_Ooooh-ooh Ooh-ooh, Ooh-ooh _

_I walk Croissant _

_I walk Croi.  
I talk to my friend Pete _

_On the street where mimes do roam _

_Where the city's in terror _

_And I like to eat marshmallows.  
My stomach growls_

_I look at the cake behind me _

_My eggnog deserves a beating _

_I wish someone out in _

_Alaska will make rice _

_Until then I sell dice..._

The music stopped playing. Riku gasped. "What was that horrible song?"

"That was Sora singing a song I wrote. We just had it recorded. It's coming out on record tomorrow, but you can have a copy early if you like."Rain pressed the eject button.

"I'd rather not..." Riku was still in shock of what he had heard.

"I'll take it!" Sora jumped up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down...

"Sora, stop jumping. We have 8 more hours to drive."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Not 8 hours stuck in a semi with a sugar-high freak and this weird girl who can't even drive! I'd rather eat paste!" Riku started pulling his hair.

"Okay, here Kairi. Give the guy what he wants." Rain once again took her eyes off the road (had they ever been there?) and her hands off the steering wheel, and tossed Kairi a jar of paste.

"Okay. I've always kind of wanted to do this." Kairi started shoving paste into Riku's mouth.

"I DIDN'T MEAN IT! THIS IS EVEN WORSE!"


	2. Do Not Ingest

**KingdomRaindropssays: No! Not the Sock! **

**Rain: Salutations! Welcome to...**

**Riku: No! Don't! He's Robert's evil twin!**

**Rain: Riku, are you watching Soap Operas again?**

**Riku: No, Charlene! NOOOOOOOOOOO!**

**Rain: I guess I'll have to do the disclaimer myself, then. I don't own Riku...**

**Riku: What? What about Riku?**

**Rain: or Dr. Pepper, though I did own a can of it...but I drank that...or Kingdom Hearts...or the song On the Road Again...or a Haunted Carnival or a semi or a driver's license.**

* * *

Rain was still driving and not paying attention to the road. "Hey, this is pretty nice! Riku hasn't said a word for 7 hours! That paste really worked!"

Kairi rolled over the jar of paste. "Warning. Do not ingest. Is that a problem?"

"Oh, I'm sure it's nothing."Rain was still looking behind her instead of at the road. Suddenly there was a big 'thump'.

"I think you just ran over an old lady." Sora peeked out the window looking into the front of the semi.

"Oh well, they didn't have long to live, anyway. I just saved them money."Rain checked her watch. "One more hour should do it.

Meanwhile, Kairi was trying to wrestle a can of Dr. Pepper away from Sora. "Stop! This is your 75th one!"

"I NEED SUGAR!" Sora shrieked.

"How 'bout some of that paste?"Rain called back, throwing Kairi another jar of paste.

"Yes!" Kairi pinned Sora down and stated shoveling paste into his mouth.

"Hey, this is pretty good! Does it have..." Sora stopped mid-sentence.

"It's sticking!" Kairi yelled.

"Oh yeah! Time for some tunes!"Rain reached down, keeping her eyes off the road, and switched on the radio. "Although this one isn't homemade, it still rocks!"

Music started playing.

_On the road again,  
I just can't wait to be On the road again The life I love is Making music with my friends,  
Oh I can't wait to be On the road again._

_On the road again,  
Like a band of gypsies We go down the highway We're the best of friends,  
Insisting that the world Keep going our way..._

Suddenly the music was interrupted by a strangled talking sound.

"Uh, I think the paste in Riku's mouth is starting to un-stick..." Kairi kicked Riku with her foot.

"See? He didn't ingest it. So there's no problem! Plus, those Poison Help centers are overrated."Rain was filing her nails instead of looking at the road...or holding onto the steering wheel.

"LOOK OUT! THERE'S A GROUP OF..." But poor Riku couldn't finish his sentence as the semi seemed to go over a series of speed bumps.

"Those poor senior citizens didn't stand a chance..." Riku sniffed.

"Yeah! Strike!"Rain pulled out a bowling score card and checked a STRIKE in one of the boxes. "How am I doing?"

Kairi consulted a clipboard. "Um...you have a score of 198." She made some marks on the paper. "And...this is your 14th game, so...hey, this is your best score yet!"

"You guys are crazy! And how come the cops aren't pulling you over?" Riku grabbed a can of Dr. Pepper.

"Don't you just love Dr. Pepper? It's so...Peppery!"Rain clapped her hands.

"You aren't answering my question!" Riku almost choked on his soda as they hit some more 'speed bumps'.

"It's 'cause I'm a Pepper!"Rain made some more marks on her bowling sheet. "Hey Kairi, that was a spare."

"You're a Pepper? And would you stop doing that!" He grabbed Kairi's clipboard.

"Yeah, it says so on my pajama pants."Rain looked at her watch. "And according to my watch, which by the way has a picture of Bambi on it..."

"Oh, that movie is so sad!" Kairi said.

"Oh, I know! Especially when that guy shoots Bambi's mom with the laser..."Rain started to say, but she was interrupted by Riku.

"It wasn't a frickin' laser! And it's time for WHAT?"

"Oh, right. It's time for..."Rain pressed a button on the steering wheel. A huge disco-ball descended from the roof of the semi. Disco music started to play. "Disco! Come on, Riku, dance! Dance like you've never danced before!"

"I haven't danced before! IT'S NOT THE SEVENTIES! AND WHY THE HECK DO YOU HAVE A DISCO BALL IN THIS STUPID TRUCK?"

Suddenly, without warning, Sora jumped up. "Yeah! Disco! Woo hoo!" He started throwing around cans of Dr. Pepper, knocking out both Kairi and Riku.

"Hmm...this paste was supposed to last at least 5 more hours..."Rain read the label on another can of paste. Wait, why is all this paste in the truck? "Oh, wait, it says that it's negated by...Dr. Pepper. Huh, that's strange. Oh well."Rain threw the paste into the back of the truck, where Sora was doing the Disco.

"Wha..." Riku started to sit up, but was hit by a flying jar of paste and fell back over.

"Go Sora, go Sora,"Rain started chanting as they drove past a sign that read "Carnival. 2 miles."


	3. Arrival

**KingdomRaindropssays: Holy clown! Look at Speed Racer go!**

**Rain: Hi, Fruit Lovers!**

**Riku: I don't love fruit. Hey, look, a can of Dr. Pepper!**

**Rain: NOOO! THAT'S MY DR. PEPPER! (tackles Riku)**

**Riku: Over my dead body!**

**Rain: That can be arranged!**

**Moogle: Since these two are locked in a death match, kupo...**

**Rain: (pulls out light saber) Haha! Now I've got you!**

**Riku: My hand! Now how am I supposed to drink that soda?**

**Moogle: As I was saying (laser beam flies over head) I will be doing the disclaimer, kupo. Panda does not own Dr. Pepper, kupo, or Moogles, kupo, or a Carnival, kupo, or a sock monkey, kupo, or the Beatles. Kupo.**

**Rain: Yeah, my mom won't let me have one because they scare her.**

**Riku: What, the sock monkey or the Beatles?**

* * *

Rainpulled into an empty parking lot. Actually, she more of ran through a sign into an empty parking lot. And 5 fences and a padlocked gate.

"Sora, wake up those two."Rain pulled the brakes and turned of the engine.

"Wake up, Riku! Wake up, Kairi!" Sora started banging together empty soda cans.

"I'm up! I'm up!" Riku jumped up and punched Sora in the face. "Uh...oops."

"Hey, what'd you do that for?" Sora was rubbing his eye. "Is it black?"

"No, Sora." Kairi pulled out a cookie. "Now, would big-boy Sora like a good cookie?"

"Yes! Yes!" Sora started jumping up and down like a 3-year-old.

"I guess that sugar hasn't worn off...and it was an accident. I swear. But it might not have been if he had kept smashing those cans together in my face."

"Yeah, well, it's your guys' fault for letting him drink so much Dr. Pepper."Rain shook her finger at Riku and Kairi.

"Hey, it's your fault for putting him in a semi FILLED with Dr. Pepper." Riku turned around and punched Sora in the face again, because he had been consistently poking him in the head with a stick. "I am proud to say, that time wasn't an accident."

Suddenly a person flew threw the window.

"Holy clown!"Rain slammed the horn. And didn't let go. So the horn kept honking, and honking, and honking, and honking, and honking, and honking, and...

"Okay, we got the point. Now kindly remove your hand from the horn." Riku was holding his head and cringing.

"Oh...right. I got caught up in the suspense of the moment."Rain pulled her hand of the horn and the honking stopped. "Now, who just flew through my window? Lucky for you, most of the glass has already been broken when I went 'bowling', or I'd make you pay for it. Of course, senior citizens have no money so..."

"Huh? Senior Citizen? Is that some kind of toothpaste?" A girl with black hair sat up in the passenger seat.

"Yuffie? What are you doing flying through the window of my semi?"Rain asked casually, as if this happened every day. Of course, it might actually happen every day...

"Oh, is this your semi? It's nice! I like Dr. Pepper. It's so...fizzly!" Yuffie started bouncing up and down as if she was already high on sugar. Of course, it is Yuffie we're talking about. "And it has bouncy seats! I like to bounce!"

"Yeah, I can tell. Now, what did you say you were doing flying through my window?"

"Oh, yeah! It's the strangest thing. I was minding my own buisness, sitting on top of a billboard..."

_(Flashback)_

"Gee, what a nice day! Oh look, here comes a semi! Hi Mr. Semi!" Yuffie shielded her eyes with her hands. "Oh, he's coming right toward me! Probably wants to say hello back! How polite!"

But the semi just kept on coming, running right through the billboard, causing the debris, and Yuffie, to fly right up.

_(End Flashback)_

"Huh. That is weird."Rain scratched her head.

"What's WEIRD is you two." Riku opened the back of the truck and jumped out. "I'm leaving."

"Wait! You can't leave!"Rain jumped out of the semi and tackled Riku. "That's not what happens next!"

"What happens next?" Sora was officially back to normal, if he can be called 'normal'. Kairi was holding an icepack on his head. "Hmm, I wonder why my head is cold?"

"Good question, Sora! I'll figure it out!" Yuffie jumped out of the truck as well and started scratching her head, a perplexed look on her face.

"The carnival! We're supposed to go to the carnival!"Rain was sitting on Riku's head.

"Would you please stop pushing my face into the gravel?" Riku spat.

"Uh, yeah, the carnival's great and all, but...this one doesn't look like it's open." Sora pointed to the abandoned ticket booth.

"Nonsense! I have the advertisement right here! It says, 'Come have fun at the carnival, today!' So, it must be true! Ads don't lie!"Rain waved a crumbling piece of paper in front of Sora's face.

"So, you got tickets?" Sora was starting to feel really good about the carnival idea.

"No, I thought we would buy them here."Rain started walking toward the ticket booth. "Come on! Before they're all sold out!"

"I don't think they're going to sell out any time soon..." Riku muttered, looking around at the empty parking lot. It was so quiet you could hear a...

"Oh, sorry, I dropped my pin." Kairi bent down to pick up a shiny silver pin.

"Why do you have a pin?" asked Yuffie.

"Oh, no reason..." Kairi quickly hid a stuffed likeness of Ansem behind her back. It was full of similar pins. "No reason at all."


End file.
